Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Compassionate Conservatives, Part I

Ah, those poor New Yorkers. Those multicultural, liberal, Democratic voting New Yorkers thought they were done getting the Big GOP Screw after having to witness the horrific obscenity of the Republican National Convention in New York City last year, complete with elephant-clad assholes from Alabama wandering the area of lower Manhattan that once housed a lot of now-dead multicultural, liberal Democratic voters. I suppose it gave those Dixie residents a bit of a charge, a certain chill to the spine, to think that they, too, could be attacked by swarthy men in their trailer parks and dirt farms and so to prevent such an attack they told us to rally 'round President Primate to keep us safe, especially since God knows when North Dakota will be viciously attacked, taking out all 17 of its citizens. The hysteria and sniveling cowardice of the Red States would, indeed, be laughable if the results of their silly panic attacks were not so devastating to the rest of the country.

In any event, once the GOP circus left town New Yorkers could, one presume, draw an easy breath of the toxic air that George Bush's EPA assured them was safe. But now that the Republicans had finished their grave-robbing tour of Manhattan, it was time for them to put aside the fake sympathy since, after all, the election was now over and it was again Payback Time for the Blue States that Pay the Freight for Those Tax-Hatin' Red States, this time taking a turn breathtaking even for the whacked-out Republican House of Representatives.

The Associated Press reports the following bit of news courtesy of the Republicans who so recently shed crocodile tears for the Trade Center victims:


WASHINGTON - A congressional inquiry has found New York failed to follow instructions from Congress on the spending of $44 million in Sept. 11 aid and should give the money back or get lawmakers to pass a law allowing the expenditure.


A New York official countered Tuesday night that if the federal government persists with the effort, it would have to take the money back directly from Sept. 11 victims.

"The federal government authorized these funds to go to 9/11 victims and their families in the first place, and given that they originally approved it, it would be wrong for them years later to take the money back from victims," said Jon Sullivan, a spokesman for the state workers' compensation board.


The bad news for New York comes just as the House is considering whether to take back another $125 million in Sept. 11 workers' compensation aid because the state has yet to spend it nearly four years after the 2001 terror attack.

One of the niftiest parts of being a Compassionate Conservative is that you don't have to deal with inconvenient things like facts, since facts don't sell to "the base". Simply put, New York State wants to keep the $125 million in worker's compensation aid because this money has been earmarked for the WTC workers - you know, the "heroes" of Republican lore, those loveable hardhats who chanted U-S-A! while George Bush stood on a smoking pile of rubble and dead bodies with his silly little megaphone and vowed to find "the folks" who "knocked down these buildings," although to this day those "folks" are livin' easy thanks to our corrupt Pakistani "allies".

These same loveable props for our Chimp's photo op were, of course, breathing in toxic air and substances that will result - if not immediately, sometime soon - in lung and respiratory conditions the likes of those in I'm Skeered, Georgia can never imagine. Because the expected claims will be staggering, New York would like to keep these funds active - but the Compassionate Conservatives in Congress need the money, no doubt, to fund more of those snappy Faith-Based programs that keep the poor on their toes by singing hymns for their supper.

One might think that House Republicans and the GAO might find their time better spent investigating the $8.8 billion that went "poof" in the night in Iraq rather than taking money out of the pockets of 9/11 victim families and rescue workers. Investigatng their own corruption, however, has very little attraction to the party of Tom DeLay. Better to give a big whack on the snout to another one of those pesky, heathen Blue States - now that has traction with "the base".

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