Thursday, June 09, 2005

Compassionate Conservatives, Part III

Rick Perry, the Texas governor with the Really Nice Hair, on Sunday signed in true Compassionate Conservative fashion measures to restrict abortion and same-sex marriage in the gymnasium of a Fort Worth evangelical school. Perry is using these issues to appeal to the white trash voters he'll need for his re-election bid next year.

In an attempt to deflect criticism of this blatant violation of the separation of church and state, Perry's campaign finance director burbled that "people of all faiths are welcome" at the signing, and to prove this fact they trundled out a Jewish rabbi - impressive! - yet the New York Times spoiled this multi-faith funfest by pointing out that the rabbi was a member of the Beth Yeshua Messianic Jewish Congregation in Fort Worth, a Jews for Jesus group. Isn't it somehow un-Christian to tell big ol' lies? Don't you go to hell for shit like that?

The Times also showed uncharacteristic snarkiness with the rank hypocrisy of the event:

Pastor Lawrence White of Our Savior Lutheran Church in Houston said churches had long played major roles in American political life, as meeting houses during the Revolution and sanctuaries during the civil rights era. "Everything of significance in the United States of America began in her churches," he said to ringing cheers and applause.

"This is not about candidates and politics, Republicans and Democrats," he added. "This is about life."

He continued, "When the governor of Texas will stand for life and marriage and family, then we will stand with him."

But nobody mentioned Texas' position as the state with the most executions.

The Times also pointedly mentioned that Perry's plans to make a campaign video of this Jesus Christ, Superstar event had been cancelled when public reaction to the Christian stake-burning wasn't overwhelmingly positive.

But Perry didn't stop there. Apparently thinking that he hadn't gone far enough with the "Jews were to the Vaterland what homosexuals are to the Homeland" word game, he then proceeded to Support the Troops(tm) in true Republican fashion.

During a press conference after signing his silly little shit on Sunday, Perry was asked what he would tell gay veterans returning from Iraq.

"I'm going to say Texas has made a decision on marriage and if there's a state with more lenient views than Texas, then maybe that's where they should live," he replied.

Got that? Hey, gay Texas verterans, it doesn't matter if the job, home and family you're returning to happen to be in Texas. The governor thinks you should just move the fuck out of the state. Ding ding ding! We've got another fine Compassionate Conservative in the house!

Andrew Sullivan had a rare flash of common sense when he commented on Perrys' Git Outta Town, Git remarks. "What do you call a gay man who risks his life to serve his country? A faggot."

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