Friday, June 17, 2005

It's Fuck You Friday

George Bush: Fuck you. After watching the congressional forum yesterday on the Downing Street Minutes, can there be any doubt left that this administration lied to the Congress and the public in order to gain empire and oilfields in our criminal misadventure in Iraq?

The best thing about the forum yesterday: the frequent use of the word impeach. It's time this word become common in our everyday language, and not in context with a blow job but with the murder of 1.724 soldiers and tens of thousands of Iraqi civilians. We should impeach our chimp for draining three hundred billion out of our treasury for his war profiteering friends (and the Republican Congress is about to hand him $45 billion more, to spare him the embarrassment of having to come back again demanding cash for his Iraqi kingdom). We should impeach him for the torture and illegal detainments in his many gulags and for his trashing of the Constitution at home. We should impeach his little chimp ass and then throw him on the first plane to The Hague so he can join his friend Tony Blair on the docket for war crimes.

Bill Clinton: Fuck you. Bill Clinton appeared on Letterman last night, and the first 20 minutes of the interview were as tedious and dull as his memoirs. As we could have predicted, he obligingly put his head up the collective asses of the Bush family, lauding the senior Bush criminal as a "good man" and sharing plans of his upcoming visit to Maine to golf and boat with Poopy. I might add that if he thinks he's helping Hillary in 2008 with this Bush love-fest, he might consider what he's doing to her in New York in 2006 first. This president he's baiting her hook with is falling like Kay Graham on the ice in every published public approval poll, and even Republicans are shearing off from his unpopular policies on Iraq, on stem cell research, and on the Patriot Act in preparation for their own 2006 races. Tying Hillary to this president is politically tone-deaf, and she needs to tell him to just shut the fuck up.

So, for 20 minutes Bill gurgled about his heart surgery, about the Tsunami aid, and about his beloved friends in the Bush crime family. Letterman went to break and I was about to switch it off, nauseated, but before I could do so the commercial break ended and I saw one of the most amazing moments I can remember on television. Letterman himself must have been nauseated by the Bush references because as soon as the show resumed he asked Clinton, "So, what do you think about these Downing Street Minutes?" Clinton looked shocked and the audience was deadly silent. Clinton stuttered something to the effect that he didn't know what it was (fucking liar!) and Dave obligingly explained to him that the British minutes reflected that regime change alone was an illegal cause of war, so the policy for going to war was going to be "fixed" around WMD and terrorism.

Clinton, who clearly knew what the memo entailed but was using the time to figure out his response, then said that he "hadn't read it" and couldn't comment. He did, to his credit, go on to mention the undisputed fact that individuals in the administration wanted to invade Iraq long before they took office - a PNAC reference - and questioned Cheney's multiple visits to the CIA. Then Bill Clinton betrayed his country in front of millions of viewers.

Using the same unwholesome argument Democratic Congressman Harold Ford used earlier in the day, he waved his hands around and said, "Whatever happened, happened. The fact is we're there now and we need to go forward," or words to that effect.This, I might add, is exactly the Republican response to questions about the crimes committed, such as lying to Congress, in the runup to the war. Clinton then made the mistake of pretending that the recent Iraqi elections were the answer to our prayers, and Letterman shot back that the violence has escalated, and not decreased, since the election (why does it take a late night comedian to ask serious follow-up questions these days, and hold people's feet to the fire?). Letterman was deadly serious and going for the kill - it was truly great viewing. What a shame we can't see an interview such as this on, say, the sycophantic CNN.

Memo to Bill Clinton: It does fucking matter what "happened" before the war. It matters to the more than 1,700 families who lost a loved one for a fucking lie, it matters to the taxpayers who will be paying through the ass for this fucking lie for generations, and it matters for the reputation of our country. It's a moral issue, but of course moral issues to Bill Clinton are like garlic to a vampire.

I'm so annoyed I'll say it again: Bill Clinton, fuck you.

My final Friday fuck you is reserved for the ratfucking Dick Cheney, who earlier this week defended our gulag at Guantanamo Bay, saying that the facility will remain open and decrying the "bad people" who are "terrorists, for the most part," (for the most part?) who are detained there "for the most part" illegally without charges.

Hard on the heels of Cheney's assertion that Gitmo will continue to humiliate our country for years to come is the announcement that Cheney's old company Halliburton has been awarded a $30 million dollar contract to build a new jail on Guantanamo. This new facility will house an additional 220 illegally detained prisoners, which means we - the taxpayers - will be handing Halliburton more than $136,000 for each cell. This comes at a time when children are being cut off from Medicaid all over the country and VA funds are being cut by Congressional Republicans. Nice. This frenzy of war profiteering is nothing more than salt on the Gitmo wound and a major fuck you to the public. They don't care. They own the voting machines.

4 Comments:

Blogger Flippy said...

Man, if my dad wasn't reading my blog everyday, I would so love to have "Fuck you, Friday".

I'm so disappointed in Bill Clinton. Maybe I'll make a "traitor" picture from our photos of him at the Kerry rally.

2:41 PM  
Blogger Mudpuppy said...

Hey, stop bashing Gitmo! The folks staying there are practically on holiday. Don't you know they receive two portions of vegetables and two types of fruit EVERY DAY? And they have a choice of fish or chicken. Fish or chicken! Do you hear me? It's paradise, man.

2:57 PM  
Blogger -simpchimp said...

Don't forget about that tasty rice pilaf, oh so easy to eat when your teeth are broken.

4:09 PM  
Blogger Republican Piglet said...

How DARE you criticize the President of the United States? He is swell. God speaks to him. God told him to conquer Iraq and all the Muslim world. It is written. You must be queer. I will pray for you.

7:10 PM  

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