Friday, July 08, 2005

It's Fuck You Friday

To Saddam Hussein: Fuck you. How dare you plan and execute a hideous attack on civilians in London?

Oh...wait. Nevermind. It's the guy we didn't catch who's likely behind yesterday's atrocity.

Lest anyone think our invasion of Iraq has not, in fact, made us one fucking bit safer, Fox News yesterday went utterly batshit in their coverage of the event, flailing wildly in their attempts to excuse the failed policies of Bush and Blair that led to this disaster.

Sean Hannity had perhaps the most tortured role of all as he attempted to reason that if we hadn't overthrown Saddam, the London attack would have been worse.

Hannity: Isn't this the fact, though, General... that what we witnessed here was pure evil, what we saw on 9/11 was pure evil and doesn't (sic) events like this actually prove that the president is actually right inasmuch as we knew Saddam used chemical weapons and biological weapons against his own people? We knew he wouldn't abide by the cease fire agreement or the UN resolutions. The French told us he had 'em, John Kerry told us he had these weapons. And Bill Clinton did - that we can't take a chance that those weapons with people like him get in the hands of people that commit acts like today?

See, you silly proles? Saddam could have given the chemical and biological weapons he didn't have to the London attackers! Get with the program!

One wonders how Hannity can get through an entire show with his head up his ass.

The Fox clown show continued all day, with Brit Hume musing about the lush pickings on the futures market courtesy of those unfortunate dead British civilians, John Gibson expressing his sadness that it wasn't Paris that had been hit, and Brian Kilmeade dribbling through his asshole that the attacks "work to the Western world's advantage". Aren't these dead civilians great? You can pick up some extra cash for ciggies and beer and gloat that their deaths work to our advantage. Fox loves these terrorist acts, and are apparently hopeful that Bush and Blair can continue to expose our citizens to danger through their utterly failed policies.

The biggest Fox lunatic yesterday, by far, was their deranged "military analyst" David Hunt, who had these gems on the O'Reilly Factor:

HUNT: ...Three: Money. There's too much money in the Muslim world that's unaccounted for that's goin' to terrorist funding. This operation in London took six months to a year, thousands of dollars, passports, logistic cells and you have to get at that money. [What] I mean by that is - the Bank of Saudi Arabia, the Bank of Yemen. If you've got money, we're taking it and redistributing it. I'm talkin' about Biblical Justice to stop this. We've got to get people's attention ...

O'REILLY (overtalks): Let's - let's - let's take the money. What - you can't force banks in the Arab world to tell you where their money ...


O'REILLY: ... is going, can you?

HUNT: No, but I can get inside their bank - and people listening in the business know this. You can get inside a bank's computer - hit "send" and take it. I'm tellin' you - you asked what to do. You get at this money...

HUNT: And a lot of this money is getting to the terrorist organizations. I'm just - this is aggressive. Nobody's gonna like it, but it would definitely get their attention.

HUNT: We have to go after countries, Bill, that have - that are harboring these people, not war with them, but deal with them very, very aggressively.

O'REILLY: Well, ya' got ....

HUNT: Biblical justice.

This insane babble is what passes for commentary on Fox.

So, in a single day, in the face of the butcher's bill our leaders handed us, Fox gave us the full menu of GOP "morality": profiteering, French-bashing, lies about Iraq's nonexistent arsenal, playing a tragedy to political advantage and biblical justice. How exhausted they must have been at the end of the day!

So, a big Friday fuck you to the shameless whores at Fox "News".


Blogger Flippy said...

So, this Hunt guy, he plans on marching into Saudi banks and just swiping all of their money? As if every Saudi is a terrorist? Of course, this just flies smack dab against Bush's belief that them there Eye-Raqis are behind everything, huh? Anyway, I don't know how you could stand to watch Fox news for even a minute. But thank you for sacrificing yourself so the rest of us know the idiocy that is there.

9:16 AM  
Blogger -simpchimp said...

Hey, Hunt is very brilliant - after all, he consults for Fox News and everythin'...

I wonder what he thinks would happen if we hit "send" and stole all of their money - like, maybe the Saudis and their OPEC friends might freeze our oil imports? We'd have all that money, and no oil to buy with it...I hate it when that happens.

I love the incisive and fresh analysis I get from Fox.

11:54 AM  
Blogger Flippy said...

As a Canadian Expat Sympathizer, it is my duty, per the Canadian Ambassador to the US, to advise you that, "Canada is the largest source of imported crude oil in the U.S., bigger than Saudi Arabia or the yet untested reserves of Iraq." Shocking, huh? I had no idea. It's kind of comforting that a land where we'll be able to get married *also* has some oil for us. You know, until the current administration alienates them so much that we'll only be able get barrels of poutine.

12:16 AM  
Blogger Mudpuppy said...

You know, I enjoy "Fuck You Fridays" so much that I'd like to make a plea for "You Suck Saturdays".

1:54 PM  
Blogger -simpchimp said...

hmmmmm....I kind of like You Suck Saturdays. There certainly isn't a dearth of individuals for Fuck You/You Suck days. Maybe I'll have to add Shithead Sundays as well.

So many possiblities!

9:20 PM  

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