Saturday, June 04, 2005

Chimpeach!




"Facing clear evidence of peril, we cannot wait for the final proof, the smoking gun that could come in the form of a mushroom cloud." -- President Bush, Cincinnati OH, 10/7/02

The "smoking gun" actually appears not in the fevered imagination of our fearmongering president, but in the Downing Street Minutes of July 23rd, 2002, written at a time when Bush was assuring the American public and the Congress that war would be a "last resort":

"Military action was now seen as inevitable. Bush wanted to remove Saddam, through military action, justified by the conjunction of terrorism and WMD. But the intelligence and facts were being fixed around the policy. The NSC had no patience with the UN route, and no enthusiasm for publishing material on the Iraqi regime's record. There was little discussion in Washington of the aftermath after military action."

Democrats.com is offering a thousand dollar bounty to anyone who can get Bush to answer yes or no to the following question: "In July 2002, did you and your administration 'fix' the intelligence and facts about non-existent Iraqi WMD's and ties to terrorism - which were disputed by U.S. intelligence officials - to sell your decision to invade Iraq to Congress, the American people, and the world - as quoted in the Downing Street Minutes?".

If you can pass the Republican credentials check to sneak your way into one of Bush's bogus taxpayer funded Social Security Town Hall Meetings, you can earn a little jack by going off-script. There are even second and third prizes, so get in on the action!

By the way, any member of the White House press corps could instantly win the grand by simply doing their job - and notice that it hasn't happened. Don't hold your breath.

The biggest fucking phony, ever


In anther transparent effort to feign sympathy for the men and women in our military slaughtered for his elective war of imperialism and greed, George Bush told the New York Daily News the following:

Bush also revealed a sensitive side, admitting he's often reduced to tears when he meets families of fallen soldiers.

Bush said "my obligation" to visit family members is the hardest part of his job. "I'm a crier, and I weep a lot," he acknowledged. "On the other hand, when it's all over, I feel incredibly strengthened by the strength of the parents or the wife or the kids."

This photograph was taken on Memorial Day weekend, after Bush was presumably done "weeping" for the almost 1700 American citizens he sent off to die. Looks pretty happy to me, no? Perhaps he had a toast or two (or dozens) in honor of the tens of thousands of Iraqi civilians he's murdered. I'll refrain from commenting on Laura looking frumpy, wrinkled, and big hipped in her usual hideous pantsuit ensemble, as this fact is readily apparent from even a cursory glance at the photograph.

This soulless coward has never wept over anything other than the possiblity of his ass being shipped to Nam or his whiskey glass being empty.

One might hope the media one day will also inquire why Bush doesn't feel a weighty sense of "obligation" to attend even a single funeral of a fallen soldier - even those who were residents of the District of Columbia, a duty traditionally assigned to sitting presidents.

Poo-Flinging from our Chimperial Majesty

"I think younger workers—first of all, younger workers have been promised benefits the government—promises that have been promised, benefits that we can't keep. That's just the way it is."—Washington, D.C., May 3, 2005

"Listen, I understand people are paying higher prices at the gas pump. I know that you're paying that tax -- it's like a tax that goes -- that money, and it's up because we're dependent." -Hopkinsville, Kentucky, June 2, 2005

"In terms of, umm -- you know, the -- the detainees, we've had thousands of people detained. We've investigated every single complaint against the detainees. It seemed like to me they based some of their decisions on, on the word of, uhh -- and the allegations -- by people who were held in detention, people who hate America, people that had been trained in some instances to disassemble -- that means not tell the truth. And so it was an absurd report. It just is. And, uhh, you know -- yes, sir. " Washington, D.C., May 31, 2005

It's a given that the typical Bush voter finds the above somehow endearing - after all, it proves that someone as appallingly ignorant as they are can indeed aspire to the presidency. For the rest of us, it's further proof that this guy must have - simply must have - cheated his way through Yale and Harvard. This is, after all, the same ninny who asked singer Charlotte Church in 2000 what state Wales was in. Church graciously replied, " It’s its own country next to England, actually Mr Bush," and in recounting the story, branded Bush a "right weirdo", adding that "George Bush just hasn’t got a clue what he’s doing.”

When a 19 year old singer correctly takes the President of the United States to task for his ignorance, you know we're in trouble, kids.

Of course, his poo-flinging takes on many forms, including a recent false display of empathy to the Washington Post that even, apparently, confused him.

"I'd say I'd spend most of my time worrying about right now people losing their life in Iraq. Both Americans and Iraqis. I worry about my girls. " Once he had proven that sociopaths do, indeed, have a conscience, he quickly changed course lest he disappoint his sociopathic supporters. In the very same interview, he babbled this little gem: "You know, I don't worry all that much, other than what I just described to you. I attribute that to . . . I've got peace of mind. A lot of it has to do with my particular faith, and a lot of that has to do with the fact that a lot of people pray for me and Laura. . . . I'm sleeping pretty good. Seriously. I get asked that. There's times when I hadn't been. I've got peace of mind."

First, in order to get in an obligatory swipe at the Bush twins, I suppose he'd "worry" about them more if their drunken, unemployed asses were in Iraq "defending freedom", or whatever the bullshit reason of the day is for our illegal invasion. I might also add that these aren't"girls", they're college graduates and old enough to drink like pigs and butt dance in Manhattan every night. But I digress.

Does our Chimperor worry or not? He assures us of his furrowed brow, his LBJ-like angst, and then breezily tells the sycopantic WaPo - which, like the New York Times, does little more than fling paeans to this administration like so much monkey poo - that "I really don't worry all that much..I'm sleeping pretty good...I've got peace of mind." Actually, you can imagine that the Post cleaned up his incoherent grunting for this piece - it was probably more like, "...sleepin' purty good...got piece a'mind..." followed by the splattering sounds of the poo he's picked out of his ass hitting the walls of the Treaty Room.

And we haven't even touched on his war crimes yet, only his base stupidity and essential crudeness. More to come.