Friday, July 15, 2005

It's Fuck You Friday

First: Alfonso Soriano, fuck you (nothing personal) for breaking up Rich Harden's perfect game in the 8th inning last night with a lame little dink into short center.

Next, a Friday fuck you to the GOP spinners who are making Karl Rove into some kind of saint for committing an act of treason. The fact that it's Joe Wilson - one of the two victims of the smear, the other of course being his wife - who they are publicly assailing as a "liar" would be laughable if you could overlook the unwholesome fact that this gang, so bristling with contempt for the law and morality, are putting the interests of the Republican party above our national security. We need no reminder, of course, of Campaign 2004, the centerpiece of which was the ability of the Republicans to "keep us safe", an illusion completely shattered by the shameless leaking of a CIA operative who was attempting to track the global movement of WMD's - you know, the same fearsome weapons Bush convinced us we had to invade Iraq to find and destroy.

Hypocrisy and treason, all tied together in one very ugly package.

A final Friday fuck you to the spittle-chinned GOP hack Chris Matthews for turning Wednesday's program over to the reprehensible RNC chief Ken Mehlman, allowing him to spin and lie about the Rove matter without any rebuttal from a less biased source. Certainly Matthews, who portrays himself as a tough journo, even naming his platform for GOP flacking "Hardball", did nothing to challenge the lies and distortions of Mehlman. Here's a bit of the transcript from Wednesday's show, illustrating just how hard-hitting Matthews really is:

MEHLMAN: And the fact that folks are using that information to say someone ought to lose their job or be charged with a crime is remarkable, outrageous and it's a partisan smear.

MATTHEWS: Fair enough.

A little later....

MEHLMAN: Karl Rove and the entire White House is fully cooperating, which is what they should do. And the folks on the other side of the aisle should stop the partisan smears.

MATTHEWS: OK.

Really tough, isn't he? Matthews, you vile GOP-flacking whore, another big fuck you for allowing this Dr. Goebbels-like Big Lie to be broadcast completely without challenge.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

To Whom It May Concern

The last couple of months have seen the rise of issues that have engaged those on the left of the political process - the Downing Street Minutes, the O'Connor retirement, and Rove's treasonous leaking of Valerie Plame's identity to at least one reporter. Big stuff.

As a result, my email has been flooded recently with entreaties from politicians and political groups whose mailing lists I've joined (and several from lists I haven't joined, such as a creepy blurb I received yesterday from the Clinton Foundation), and there's a common thread to almost all of them. They ask for two things:

1. Sign a petition, and
2. Give money for the "big fights" ahead

If there's any vehicle more ineffective in making an impression on our thuggish GOP ubermeisters than a petition I'm unaware of its existence. Imagine, if you will, the laughter and scorn a delivered petition earns from the likes of Tom DeLay, Bill Frist, Andy Card, Scooter Libby or Karl Rove. These are people who have abused our voting rights, and we think petitions are going to have some kind of impact? Dream on. It's a waste of time and effort. Yet, in the face of the abuse of public trust and outrages committed daily against our democracy, all we're asked to do is sign endless petitions destined to be delivered to people who don't give a shit.

The funding requests often do little more than provide salaries for the petition senders, depending on the group. MoveOn, at least, runs ad campaigns with their funding so I always throw them a few bucks. DFA conducts grassroots activist training seminars, so they get a few bucks. True Majority does fun and creative stuff, like the Pants on Fire vehicle that toured the country last year, so I've given to them.

Some of the beggers seriously annoy me. I answered a plea last year from Kerry to fund a war chest to allow the campaign to investigate any voting irregularities, and then watched him concede the election before the massive numbers of provisional ballets in Ohio - mostly cast in heavily Democratic, African-American wards where the GOP vote suppression tactics were at their peak - were even estimated. This, after he repeatedly assured us that he'd make sure - this time - that "every vote would be counted". Kerry, by the way, is still sitting on millions of dollars he raked in from dumb slobs like myself, although he's recently promised some of it to the DNC.

And he's still asking for money!

I have a better idea for our Democratic leadership and the many organizations that purport to speak for them: screw the petitions, and get your fucking shit together. Here's my generic answer to them:

To Whom It May Concern,

Thank you for your request for funds in exchange for the exciting prospect of signing a petition. I know that President Bush will seriously consider my liberal point of view on Supreme Court Nominations, Bolton, the war in Iraq, war profiteering and the treason committed by his Deputy Chief of Staff (insert laugh track here).

Rather than asking a neoconservative and shill for the religious extremists in this country to consider my point of view, I'd rather have the Democratic party on occasion represent my point of view.

I'll be glad to shovel money your way if you can promise me - with certainty - that senators such as Nelson of Nebraska or Landrieu of Louisiana or Lieberman or Biden won't cave on a radical, pro-corporate, pro-God in every household, anti-choice whackjob Supreme Court nominee. Can you do that? No? Then what fucking good - excuse the language - will draining my bank account do when the battle is lost before it's begun?

Rather than begging George Bush to nominate a moderate for the USSC - an outcome as likely as Jenna turning down a vodka collins - perhaps you should beg our senate Democrats to pull their heads out of their asses and stand for something.

Love 'n Kisses,
SimpChimp

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Twisting in the Wind, Part Deux

Actually, it's part three, as this is the third day in a row Scott McClellan has been grilled like a halibut by the White House press corps (it's shocking, isn't it, that they're finally doing their jobs?).

Enjoy.

Convert a Jew, Get a Tax Break


NOTE: You can earn tax breaks for converting Jews and you can be appallingly ignorant while you're doing it - notice how your "pallet" will be pleased eating their Christo-fascist slop.





Florida, long the batshit capital of the United States, has sunk to a new low.

A Christian theme park (their site, I might add, is a blood-curdling experience) in Orlando was recently granted an exemption from paying back property taxes of $786,000 and annual property taxes of $215,000 by a Florida judge who ruled that The Holy Land Experience theme park exists to "spread what it considers to be God's word."

The operator of the park is a nondemoninational Christian ministry which calls itself Zion's Hope, and their stated mission is to convert Jews to Christianity. They had previously filed for tax-exempt status with the Orange County Property Appraiser's Office and their filing was denied when the Office ruled that the property was not a church but a tourist attraction.

Not to be deterred from their quest of making a buck out of converting Jews to Christianity, Zion's Hope filed an appeal with the circuit court, and as the Associated Press reports they received this favorable ruling from judge Cynthia McKinnon:

In a ruling issued July 5 that Zion's Hope attorneys didn't receive until Monday, Judge Cynthia MacKinnon ruled all of the park was off-limits to taxation -- not just the onsite administrative and education facilities already granted exemption.

"The undisputed evidence before the court is that (Zion's Hope) is using the property to spread what it considers to be God's word to many people at one time. This is in contrast to Disney World's and Anheuser-Busch's use of their properties, Epcot and Sea World, respectively, which is indisputably to make money for the companies."

She also ruled the park's roughly $35 admission cost didn't preclude it being a nonprofit because museums charge admission and at least one other church has for holiday events.

...Zion's Hope, which is devoted to converting Jews to Christianity, opened the park in February 2001. It offers recreations of scenes from ancient Jerusalem and biblical settings complete with costumed characters.

A gift shop sells books and religious-oriented gifts, and the Oasis Cafe sells food, all exempt from the state's 6 percent sales tax.

One has to wonder if, using this ruling as a precedent, you can convert your home into a Christian 'ministry' devoted to ensnaring Jews into your faith and declare that this activity makes you exempt from paying property taxes on your home. Can you refuse to pay sales tax on the food you buy since "massive Goliath burgers" provide the fuel for your Convert-A-Jew zeal? The tax evasion opportunities are endless, even if you don't convert a single Jew - just make that your goal and it's tax break city, baby. Thank our Christian God for these "activist judges" who make Christianity such a profitable (and fun! Rides 'n everything!) enterprise.

It's tragic that the large Jewish population of Florida now has to foot the bill for a missionary group whose sole purpose is to disrespect their faith. In the event Florida Jews get untidy in the face of this outrage, the theme park carries this disclaimer in their site:

"We recognize that people of various faiths and denominations will visit The Holy Land Experience, and we appreciate and encourage the worship of God. However, we reserve the right to remove anyone (or any group of people) from the facilities if their religious activity, in our judgment, causes a disturbance."

Your "democracy" in action.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Rove is goin' down

Monday, July 11, 2005

He Just Never Shuts UP

I had MSNBC on this morning and was listening to Blair begin his remarks to Parliament regarding the subway bombings when, to my horror, they quickly switched to Bush giving another one of his cliche-ridden speeches at the FBI training center in Virginia.

One wonders if the timing of his speech - it contained nothing new - was planned to pre-empt Blair and put the focus once again on Bush. It's clear that the administration's fear was that the opposition parties in Britain would have a field day with Blair and such open dissent or questioning isn't allowed in our political system. The views of a real opposition - unlike our weak Democratic version - might flip on a light in the collective heads of the American public, causing them to sit up (finally) and say What the fuck? (Update: BBC reports that both the Tories and Lib Dems went easy on Blair today).

Having the public listen to a point of view not preapproved by the neocons is apparently not acceptable, so instead we were forced to listen to a tired rendition of the same ol' whoppers and lines that would be laughable if his fuckups weren't so tragic - "These terrorists refuse to allow freedom to dissent" would be a sidesplitter when you place it alongside our frightened little man's First Amendment Zones. And, lest we be in touch with the reality of what actually took place last week, he again claimed that "we're fighting the terrorists there so we don't have to fight them here," following the GOP credo that if you repeat a lie often enough, even in the face of overwhelmingly contradictory evidence, it will gain acceptance as the truth. Certainly we know that the media won't challenge this claim, but simply repeat it as fact.

Each time his hand-picked audience applauded, his idiot face would beam, his head would bob, and a nasty smirk that purports to express pleasure would flare across his mouth. The visuals alone were repulsive, but not as stomach-churning as his attempts to once again draw political gain from the deaths of civilians. It was a "Rally 'Round Me, Boys" speech to prop up his poll numbers and deflect from the fact that the attacks were the direct result of his failed and disasterous policies in the Middle East.

Democrats are hesitating to use this event as an illustration of just how botched this "War on Terror" has been, fearing that they'll be accused of politicizing the London bombings. This weak-kneed mewling, in light of this morning's Bush pep rally, is completely unacceptable. Democrats need to not only focus on the lack of funding that's causing shortfalls in providing transportation security here, but they need to be attacking the larger picture - that the overall strategy post-9/11 has been a tragic failure. Of course, if Kerry had done this last year, the election would have been won in late summer. What in the fuck is wrong with the Democrats? They have public opinion on their side, people are begging for responsible leadership, yet their silence continues.